On ISFJ

I aboslutely love some ISFJ’s and can take others only in small doses. I feel like INTP’s are the feeliest of the thinkers and ISFJ’s are the most intuitive of the sensors. At least when they’re mature. Our functional stacks consist of exactly the same functions but in different orders.

INTP: Introverted Thinking (Ti), Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Sensing (Si), Extraverted Feeling (Fe).

ISFJ: Introverted Sensing (Si), Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Introverted Thinking (Ti), Extraverted Intuiting(Ne).

The important thing here is the weaker functions. For INTP’s it’s Si and Fe. For ISFJ’s it is Ti and Ne. Our weakest function is equivalent to the primary function of a toddler maybe, at least until we develop it. For me, an INTP, I processed my feelings in my teens the same way an ESFJ processed their feelings at 3 or 4 years old. In other words I wasn’t very good at it. I honestly didn’t even bother trying to feel until later in my 20’s. It’s still something I’m learning to do well and I’m in my 30’s. I can get really moody and butt hurt and it can cause me to do a lot of stupid things. BUT when I’m happy I also process that the same way an ESFJ toddler does. An example:

I was in a business meeting the other day and heritage came up for some odd reason. I had just gotten something similar to an ancestry report and I pulled out my data and started trying to show it to everyone, talking about how I can trace my lineage back to a ship coming from England back in the 1780’s. I was in a business meeting, shoving this report in peoples faces with a big stupid smile on my face. My colleague was sitting next to me trying not to giggle. No one looked at my report. I put it back in my bag and continued the rest of the meeting with a big dumb smile as I thought about a young good looking english irish dude getting off a boat in the new world. Like… fuck yea he was cool. Later my colleague said. “oh my god that was so cute. You looked like such a little kid. I wanted to pinch your cheeks!” again…late 30’s…in a business meeting.

Why am I saying this? because an ISFJ reminds me of a kid when their Ti and Ne are at the forefront of their behavior. It’s kind of cute as fuck spending time with a 26 year old who is being dreamy and imaginative the same way you were when you were 6 years old. And then you get to kind of be…like a wise mentor and they get to kind of get lost in your wisdom. Or you can flip it and they get to think you are adorable with your kiddy little cute feelings and they get to say “that’s cute. Now let me show you what it really means to have feelings and use your senses to connect with the world” and it sort of blows you away because you understand it…it’s a part of you…but not like that. You will never be like that. They’re angelic. They’re beautiful. It’s like being at an exotic zoo… seeing them be a way you could never be. It’s like an 8 year old who just picked up a violin listening to Mozart. It’s mesmerizing.

Of course this is only true when your inferior functions are in the driver seat in a positive situation. When an ISFJ’s Ti comes to the forefront and they are mad or angry or scared…they’re basically stupid as fuck.

“what do you mean you are going to throw away the cheesecake because they put whip cream on it? That doesn’t make any sense!?!? It’s totally edible! Just take the whip cream off.”
“You don’t understand! the cheesecake is ruined. I’m throwing it away and going to the store to buy another one. That’s the only way to fix this.”

As an INTP my Ti would go haywire here and try to rationallize with the ISFJ. But the problem is that the ISFJ’s Ti is equivalent to a 4 year old…I would HAVE to engage her Fe and bring her Fe to the forefront. But my Fe is also 4 years old….and then it sort of turns into two stupid toddlers trying to solve a really complex problem. We are no longer cute to each other but maybe someone else looking at us would be all “daaaahhhhh, they are sooooo cute!” It takes some patience from both partners on this end but I personally think the ups are worth the work.

I dated an ISFJ and I’m still very fond of her. She was beautiful and angelic. She was my Mozart. She folded all her panties and put them into little cubicles. I thought that was amazing. My underwear is shoved unfolded into like…different drawers all over my house. Like I found some in a kitchen drawer the other day. What the fuck? When we made out, or had sex…yea, toddler Fe and Si…super child like happiness on my end but she was a guru…just being in the presence of someone so in the moment and so emotionally wise enjoying themselves that much…she was art in motion. I will never forget it.

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